When one reaches middle age, he is reticent.

as the saying goes, "the depth of the water is silent, the man is steady."

although language is an expression, silence is also a silent attitude.

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people who know how to be silent are not speechless, but the highest rule of doing things.

01

Silence

when people reach middle age, it is a skill to speak, and to know how to be silent is a kind of spiritual practice.

such a thing was recorded in the Biography of Lu Su.

Sun Quan discussed countermeasures with his ministers when he joined forces with Liu Bei to confront Cao Cao.

the ministers said a word to each other, and the representatives of all parties expressed their views, both opposing and approving, which gave Sun Quan a real headache.

in the gap between ministers expressing their views, Sun Quan looked down the steps at Lu Su, who was silent all the time, and thought:

the more he thinks, the more dissatisfied he becomes with Lu Su.

Sun Quan was so upset that he walked out of the main hall to get some air, but Lu Su followed him at this time, expressing his support for the idea of uniting with Liu Bei to confront Cao Cao.

Sun Quan is a little strange: "in the main hall, why didn't you say so?"

Lu Su replied:

Sun Quan thought carefully that this was really the case, and he was immediately relieved.

but Lu Su has another idea. He is afraid that after his ideas are expressed in public, he will offend some people in the DPRK.

in order not to get yourself into trouble, I didn't express my opinion.

some people say, "the most effective weapons in the world are smiles and silence. Smile to solve the problem, while silence avoids the problem. "

A really smart person knows how to protect himself while showing himself.

speak in a moderate manner, know how to be silent, and know when to say it and when not to say it.

words are silver, silence is golden.

saying the right words and making the right expressions is a person's best practice.

02

reticence is a kind of walking alone

Lu Xun has a classic saying:

A person's real growth is a process of self-cognition and learning to get along with himself.

when you enjoy your time alone more and more, you are one step closer to true freedom.

actress Xu Jinglei once said in an interview:

come to think of it, this is the state of living most clearly. "

learn to be alone with yourself, discover yourself in the process, reshape yourself, and gradually become a better self.

Dong Qing once talked about her past.

before she became the host of CCTV, she was the host of Oriental Satellite TV.

in order to make her better development, Dong Qing gave up her already well-known program and moved to the newly established Shanghai Satellite TV.

when she got to the station, she found that instead of making herself better, she had been "dragged down" by this job.

is not used by the leader, does nothing all day long, loses the signature column, and makes the atmosphere among colleagues become cold and alienated.

although the situation was somewhat bleak at that time, Dong Qing did not waste time.

she uses her alone time to read a lot, A Dream of Red Mansions, Tang and Song ci. The more classic a masterpiece is, the more it can attract her attention.

she was also admitted to East China normal University, majoring in Classical Literature in the Chinese Department.

this kind of study not only gives Dong Qing a deeper understanding of ancient Chinese culture, but also accumulates a lot of knowledge of ancient Chinese literature.

it is precisely because of the accumulation of that period of time that the later "Poetry Conference" and "Reader" came into being.

Thoreau wrote in Walden

in most cases, we are lonelier when we go out among people than in our own houses. "

Life is an one-way lonely journey.

No matter what kind of prosperity you are along the way, you must keep company with yourself and return to the time of solitude.

someone said, "solitude is the best value-added period." Let yourself reflect on yourself in silence and improve yourself.

perhaps the sign of a person's growth is not how mature he is, but how much he enjoys silence and learns to be alone.

03

reticence is the wisdom that sees through untold wisdom

among the many aides of Zeng Guofan, there is a gentleman who likes to boast.

he wrote a confession, "unmoved", which translates as:

in the face of profiteering, he will not be moved; all temptations in the world will never be moved. "

the confession was originally presented to Zeng Guofan, but it was accidentally seen by another aide named Li Meisheng.

Li Meisheng felt that her husband was hypocritical, so he wrote a limerick on the header to express his feelings: "on the side of the beautiful eyebrow, next to the red and blue roof, nothing moves, as long as you see the atrium."

Zeng Guofan saw the handwriting on the poem and found Li Meisheng:

it is possible for

to become an enemy. In the future, you must remember that you must never do such a thing again. "

Yes, not everything needs to be clear and clear; not all words have to be clear and clear.

keeping silent is the best answer.

Xunzi says:

A mature person knows not to say what he should not say.See through, do not see through, see through, do not tell.

they only focus on their own lives and follow their own path.

if you are clumsy, you can argue.

know how to be an eloquent "nerd" who can't talk; know how to speak with your brain instead of your mouth; and know how to be a smart "silencer".

just like the sentence of "Laozi":

is exactly what it says.

04

reticent, is a kind of health

smile, less than ten years; sorrow, white head.

this well-known classic saying is the best answer to the relationship between emotion and physical health.

when a person is in a state of anger and emotional instability, the body will change accordingly.

speak less occasionally and keep silent at the right time, which not only reflects your own self-cultivation, but also a unique way to maintain good health.

I have seen a short story by Goethe:

the poet Goethe wrote many admirable poems, which aroused the envy of many people.

one day, walking in the park, on a path that could only accommodate one person, he came face to face with a critic who had prejudices about his work.

when the two looked at each other face to face, the critic said insolently, "I never make way for fools."

in the face of naked provocation and satire, Goethe did not hold a grudge, but answered the critic with an open mind: "I am just the opposite."

with that, he stepped aside with a smile.

there are too many angry and annoying things in this world. Instead of getting angry and torturing yourself, it is better to fight back cleverly with a smile on your face, like Goethe.

and Tian Xiushu said:

in life, everyone has emotions, only know how to release, do not know how to restrain, then life can only be immersed in negative emotions forever.

you should know that in the end, all the unhappiness in life can only affect you, and only your body will be harmed.

when people are alive, the most important thing is to be happy. When you face the negative emotions in life, do not act on the spur of the moment. When you understand the benefits of silence, you will learn to face life more easily.

05

reticence is a kind of leisurely

there is a question on Zhihu: "Why do people become more silent as they grow up?"

one of the answers is very agreeable: "because some people have nothing to say and some people have nothing to say."

the older you get, the more you understand that silence is not an embarrassment for each other, but the best answer to each other and life.

Qi Baishi has a motto: "A smile of praise, a smile of scolding."

this is what he wants to express, and it is also a true portrayal of himself.

for a time, Qi Baishi was controversial, and his works were as polarized as I am.

some people are full of praise for his works, thinking that he is a painter rarely seen in a century.

some people are biased, talking about his paintings and insulting him.

Qi Baishi has heard these remarks more or less, and every time he hears them, he only smiles slightly and does not take them seriously.

calm, calm, not angry, unexpectedly, he does his own thing, lives his own life, and does not listen to or read the gossip outside.

very often, when people gradually mature, they will understand that in this world, some roads must go their own way, and some hardships must be borne by themselves.

when you can calmly face the "tests" of life and turn these "sufferings" into a part of life, you will find that you will become more at ease and more at ease with these tribulations.

as Zhou Guoping said:

learn to live quietly, grow up in silence, and become a stronger self in silence.

at this time, it is more dull and silent but more moving than sound.

sometimes silence carries more weight than eloquence.

do not explain, do not argue, do not argue, do not fight back, face the storms of life in silence, and improve their self-cultivation in silence.