The most lasting relationship is not the agreement of the three values, but the indifference between right and wrong.
I often hear people say that people with the same values are the same people, and they should be acquainted with those who share the same values.
but everyone comes from different experience and lives in a different environment, so it is difficult to agree on the same idea.
there is no perfect soul in the world, and all good relationships need to be managed with heart.
in a truly mature relationship, the three values are not exactly the same. The important thing is not to contend for right or wrong.
01
No struggle for right or wrong is the greatest filial piety to parents
someone on the Internet asked, what is the most regrettable thing you have ever done?
A netizen shared his story at the bottom of the post.
he said: as a child, I think sometimes what hurts my mother the most is to argue with her in front of right and wrong.
the netizen's mother, who is in her seventies, often queues at the supermarket early in the morning for a few free eggs, but her mother has arthritis and hurts her legs and feet when she is tired, and she often has to see a doctor after waiting in line.
every time he comes back from a doctor with his mother, he will lose his temper. How much are a few eggs worth? How can you be so fussy?
Mother is also very superstitious.
he always retweets some fake health articles on moments, and he always complains about them every time he sees them. Mom, these are all fake. Would you please don't embarrass me?
until one day, his mother came to him in high spirits and asked him, "I bought a set of black hair online for 500 yuan. Can you help me to see if my white hair is much less?"
he was about to criticize, but he looked up and saw his mother's white hair.
Yes, the secret recipe for black hair bought for 500 yuan is of no use at all. on the contrary, my mother has more white hair.
but at that moment, he suddenly realized that there was nothing wrong with his mother, she was just old.
the ideas used to educate him when he was a child now seem so anachronistic, and the people who propped up half the sky for him when he was a child are now left behind by the times.
he seems to have suddenly understood his mother.
"it turns out that she wants to save some money on eggs and thinks she can have more security. She believes in articles about health preservation because she wants to have a good health and not drag down her children."
but as children, we always understand too late.
We can always easily find out our parents' mistakes and tell them exactly what is OK and what is not.
We won the truth, but in the end we got our parents' silence.
in the Book of Rites, it is said that "the cultivation of a filial son" must first "enjoy its heart".
when we are reasonable and fight for right or wrong, we do not think that all our parents need is care and company.
many of the ideas and behaviors of parents may be outdated and pedantic in our eyes, but they are shaped by their past lives.
instead of arguing, it is better to sympathize.
seeing the limitations of parents, understanding their fragility and being tolerant of everything is the greatest filial piety for their children.
02
whether high or low, it is the best respect for a friend
I have heard a saying that others respect you not because you are good, but because he is good.
the more mature people are, the less likely they are to impose their own principles on others, and when they shine, they will not blow out other people's lights.
the media writer @ Xiaonian once wrote the story of her roommate.
my roommate was well-off from an early age. Before college, he traveled to dozens of countries and got excellent grades. During his time at school, he won a scholarship year after year.
as for her, she was born in a small town and has no special skills.
but because they are in the same dormitory and both like literature, they soon become friends.
on weekdays, roommates like to eat western food, Xiao Nian likes roadside stalls, roommates like to read foreign classics, and Xiao Nian likes Wang Xiaobo's interesting and sharp.
the two have been together for four years without any dispute. Xiaonian once thought that she and her roommate were predestined people with the same values.
until later, when they graduated and separated, Xiao Nian met a lot of people in society and saw more complex human nature, so she realized that her roommate had been compatible with her values and cared about this friendship.
most of the time, we want to meet friends who hit it off, but what is rarer than falling in love in the first place is the compromise and tolerance we have made to sustain the relationship.
comedian Charlie Chaplin has a viewer friend who admires him very much.
this friend, who is a baseball fan, is happy to show Chaplin around his baseball collection, and Chaplin follows in high spirits.
later, Chaplin specially asked people to find his friends' favorite baseball stars and asked for autographed baseball caps for his friends.
Chaplin and this friend have different positions and tastes, but it is enviable that they have been able to do so attentively.
so until his temples are gray, his friend still remembers this precious friendship:
"it is my greatest honor to be a friend of Chaplin in this life.
Buy our knee length long sleeve dresses for homecoming and enjoy the combination of their high quality and superior material. Just do it and enjoy wonderful shopping experience.
it was he who taught me what is meant by true respect and true friendship, and his personality illuminates my life. "
people often sigh that people are easy to cool, and they always say that a good relationship needs to be the same, but there is no one in the world who can think and act in the same frequency.
seeking common ground is a pursuit, and it is only by reserving differences that one tests one's wisdom.
precious friendship, never have a sense of identity, there is no distinction between superior and inferior.
what is more important than the convergence of the three values is to care about each other and work together.
A lot of times, you give me a hand on the way of life, I cross you for a while, and in the end, we don't get lost.Is the most precious thing in the world.
03
not to win or lose, it is the greatest tenderness to your partner
in the program, a debater shared his story.
once he had a quarrel with his girlfriend over a trivial matter, and they both thought they were right and neither would give in.
as a debater, he easily caught a loophole in his girlfriend's logic and listed arguments to refute each other one by one.
unexpectedly, as soon as he finished, his girlfriend became even angrier.
it was only then that he realized that he could use his reason to suppress each other, but what his girlfriend needed was love and tenderness.
when we are young, we are used to being aggressive, always crushing others with absolutely correct posture and gaining a sense of spiritual superiority.
wait until you go through the ups and downs of the world, only to know that in trivial days, respect can make a relationship last longer than winning or losing.
the so-called touching story is just a warm scene created by two people who tolerate each other and create in the mediocre fleeting years.
Zhou Youguang, the father of Hanyu Pinyin, and his wife Zhang Yunhe, one is a famous linguist, the other is a lady from a wealthy family.
two people with different backgrounds never compete in life.
one of them likes western musical instruments, one loves Chinese music, one likes coffee and the other likes tea.
but they never compare whose hobbies are more advanced, and they take the time to accompany each other to do what they like.
the two will also quarrel, but Zhou Youguang's attitude is never angry, he will never blame his wife with words of censure, nor will he show off his knowledge.
to ask them the secret of a long happy marriage, it is probably compromise and respect in the trivial time.
writer Ai Xiaoyang once wrote this paragraph:
because in this world, what is more precious than love at first sight is a lifetime.
I have heard a saying that all relationships in the world are, in the final analysis, your relationship with yourself.
A relationship tends to mature, which is inseparable from the wisdom and practice of the individual.
know how to seek common ground while reserving differences, respect and understanding, in order to make the feelings warmer and longer over the years.