Parents keep in mind that if they are not used to it, their children will have a bright future when they grow up.

I have heard such a saying: everyone can be a parent, but not everyone is qualified for this position.

We can always pick out all kinds of problems in our children, but we seldom realize that most of these problems come from parents.

parenting expert Li Meijin once said:

some parents are always confused about the importance of education, do not care about what they should do, but do not relent when they should let go, which is very disadvantageous to the growth of their children.

only when parents do a good job of "being unaccustomed to" can their children take fewer detours and become more and more promising.

01

"disrespect" is not used to

I don't know if your child has the same phenomenon:

when your child is angry, the child will swear repeatedly;

when the elders come to the house, the child not only does not say hello, but calls them by their first name.

the teacher criticizes the child for not finishing his homework on time, but the child dares to confront the teacher.

Children are very overbearing, do not know how to respect the old and love the young, and are unkind to their younger brothers and sisters;

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when parents find that their children have disrespectful behavior, they must correct them in time, criticize and educate their children seriously and make them correct.

if parents are too lax in their children's discipline and just laugh off the wrong behavior, the child may form many bad habits and endanger them for life.

when children do not know how to respect others, parents can use three words of truth: "clear, show, like" to guide their children to be polite.

clear: clear language.

is to tell your child in advance in clear language who you will meet, what to say and what to do.

show: correct demonstration.

parents should master correct etiquette in order not to make a wrong demonstration.

example: the power of example.

Children are the reflection of parents. What kind of person parents want their children to be, they should first become such people and set an example for their children.

the philosopher Thomas Carlisle once said that politeness is stronger than law.

impoliteness will directly affect the child's interpersonal relationship, will make people around him feel disgusted with him and become more and more estranged.

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politeness is a person's best pass.

02

"gluttonous and lazy"

many parents do not realize the importance of "teaching their children to be independent" and are still doing everything for their children in the name of love.

he even foolishly said, "Don't worry about anything else, just study hard", thinking that "children will be independent when they grow up in nature."

do not realize that parents are too doting, and their children will be eaten back.

parents will invisibly raise their children to a "giant baby" who "cannot take care of themselves".

"giant babies" don't know how to be grateful, ignore the rules, and can't stand on their own feet.

I have seen a video called "the world is bigger than a bowl of scrambled eggs with tomatoes".

in the video, there is a Chinese student named Ian who needs to cook a hometown specialty because his friends are having dinner.

Ian chose the simplest and most basic scrambled egg with tomato.

but even for such a simple dish, Ian still doesn't know whether to put tomatoes or eggs first.

so he picked up his cell phone and asked his parents on the other side of the ocean for help.

in order to teach their clumsy son to make scrambled eggs with tomatoes, parents got out of bed at 4: 00 in the morning and recorded video live teaching.

Mom dictates the steps while cooking, while Dad is responsible for recording video messages.

after untold hardships, the dish is finally finished.

this video moved thousands of netizens: "thinking of my parents, I really want to cry!"

but what I see is not moved, but a "giant baby".

an adult can't even make the simplest scrambled eggs with tomatoes. When he encounters a problem, he doesn't know how to search the Internet to solve it. He just blindly looks for his mother, even in the early hours of the morning. What is it if it's not a giant baby?

if a child has a strong ability to do housework, his living ability is naturally high, and his ability to live independently is strong.

Children will eventually leave their parents to live alone, and self-care ability is the most basic survival needs of children.

you can't get into the habit of sitting back and enjoying your success. Laziness can only make your child accomplish nothing.

Let children "do their own things". These eight simple words are the greatest responsibility of parents to their children.

03

if parents allow their children to develop, their children will only become more and more overbearing and unreasonable, and will even be labeled as "uneducated" by others.

many bear children are spoiled in this way, and they are undisciplined when they are young, and it will be very difficult for you to manage them when you grow up.

when parents insist on their children's wayward demands and adhere to principles, grandparents usually come out to speak for their children.

at this time, parents must stick to their own principles and persuade the elderly to stick to your position or stay out of it.

otherwise, children will learn to "exploit loopholes", which will do more harm than good to family education.

parents should establish a sense of rules for their children from an early age and let them understand the bottom line of some things.

in this way, children will have a sense of boundaries when they are doing something or being naughty, instead of following their temper and knowing what can be done and what cannot be done.

04

Don't worry about the difficulties you can bear

No one's life is plain sailing. There will certainly be big and small setbacks on the way of growing up, but they are not afraid of setbacks. What they are afraid of is that children will not be able to deal with them after they encounter setbacks.

small difficulties and setbacks should be left to the children to solve by themselves. only in this way can they cultivate their ability to solve problems independently.

now you always help your child solve the problem. Once the child encounters difficulties in the future, he will rely on his parents and cannot do it on his own.

Professor Li Meijin once shared such a case:

there was a 12-year-old child who was usually arrogant and capricious and did not listen to his parents.

I was accidentally scolded by my mother for a little thing, but because I couldn't accept it, I jumped off a building and committed suicide.

it is both a pity and a pity to make such a crazy move at such a young age.

if the child's ability to bear it is too poor, it will become very glass-hearted, and will not recover after a little setback and blow, and even make irreparable consequences.

the faster a person can adjust in the face of setbacks and negative emotions, the more likely the person is to succeed.

therefore, frustration education is very important. Parents should be a guide to let the child grow up and make him a responsible and strong person.

05

Don't worry about being independent

Frank Clark once said:

parents want to raise an independent child, but on the way to independence, parents are often the biggest obstacle.

everyone has inertia, especially children.

if he had been under the protection of his parents, without the wind, rain, clothes and food, he would never be independent on his own.

parents don't care when the child endures difficulties to a degree that the child can accept.

the sooner you learn to grow up independently, the more beneficial it will be for your child's future.

never look after the children. in fact, they also have their own personalities and ideas, and they are able to accomplish tasks through learning.

parents should learn to let go and not overcontrol and spoil their children.

you can't protect your child for the rest of your life, so let your child face something on his own while you can still protect him.

Don't ignore your child's first "independence". Parents' encouragement and praise can give children the motivation and confidence to continue to challenge others.

when children are doing things by themselves, parents should not tell them what to do and criticize their children for not doing well. As long as children are willing to do it, they should give praise and encouragement.

when children accomplish something on their own for the first time, parents should discover and praise their children in time.

remember that children are independent and need guidance rather than arrangement on their way of growing up.

there is a family education maxim, which is very reasonable:

educating children is a great knowledge, and parents should remember that to love their children is to help them become better people, not to allow them to develop freely.

without sowing, there is no harvest;

there is no success without hard work;

there is no glory without tribulation;

there is no glory without setbacks.

take care of it when it's time to take care of it, and let it go when it's time to let go!