Mom looks young because of these four o'clock.

two days ago, I attended a college reunion.

I haven't seen you for ten years, and the years have quietly changed each other's faces.

I found that all mothers are also mothers, some mothers look old, while others are refreshing, beautiful and generous, with little sense of age on their faces.

after dinner, I found a fact:

those young mothers tend to smile brightly and look relaxed.

while the mother is getting older, her face is always clouded with sadness, and there are always complaints about her life at the dinner table.

it turns out that their different attitudes towards life and different choices and practices towards family members have created different colors on their faces.

as Russell said:

A mother looks young, often not by external maintenance, but because she has done these four points right.

01

not everything, but willing to use my father

on Zhihu, I saw a mother asking for help:

it turns out that when the landlord lived the previous two lives, the landlord felt that he had done more, and it was not a big problem, but after having children, she had to take care of the children and housework, but her husband still lay down when she got home and was too lazy to take away the bowls and chopsticks.

she said, from the beginning to the end, I felt that I was carrying it alone. I was really tired.

there is a good saying that my mother's face often reflects what life looks like.

the home of three people, my father chose the years to be quiet, how can my mother move forward without bearing a heavy load, how can she not be haggard?

on the question of father giving up, Zhang Xiyi pointed out bluntly:

Men are lazy, and most of them are used to by women. Taking care of children and doing housework should be the standard for husbands.

in the Man who does housework, Yuan Hong can get up at 6 o'clock every day to make breakfast. When the baby wakes up, Yuan Hong hurriedly runs upstairs to coax the baby and tease the child.

Zhang Xianyi is having a leisurely breakfast while Yuan Hong is nursing the baby.

I finally finished my work in the kitchen. As soon as I sat down, Zhang Xianyi said that her neck was uncomfortable, so Yuan Hong put down her business and began to massage his wife.

it is precisely because of Yuan Hong's careful care that 37-year-old Zhang Xianyi recovers quickly after giving birth. In the camera, she looks as good as a girl, warm and lovely.

in fact, Yuan Hong is not born to do housework. Such good husbands are all "trained" by his wife:

Yuan Hong mistakenly mistook mustard oil for pepper oil and dipped it in water. Zhang Xianyi's face changed after eating, but instead of blaming or complaining about her husband, he said it was quite delicious.

when Yuan Hong assembled the children's fence, he said he was very complicated and tired. Zhang Xianyi immediately praised him.

while Zhang Xianyi bought a lot of things for her baby, she didn't forget to buy helmets as gifts for her husband who likes to ride motorcycles.

when two people encountered the question of who will wash the baby fence, Zhang Xianyi said directly: "I can go, but I don't want to move." After listening to Yuan Hong, he immediately took the initiative to wash it.

in fact, no matter how old a man is, he is just a big boy. He always has a "heroic dream" at the bottom of his heart, eager to be needed, relied on, and worshipped.

comes from my mother's affirmation, support, care and coquettish, which is the tenderness that my father can't resist.

you see, after getting positive feedback, Yuan Hong, in turn, is doubly kind to Zhang Xianyi.

so moms, no matter how capable they are, don't do everything. Learn to let your father share the housework and take responsibility.

02

instead of being the "babysitter" of the child, learn to be lazy

the poem "Mother" says:

one of the troubles of the child is a wrinkle of the mother.

Cai Shaofen once brought her child to collapse, saying: women with children tend to get old and ugly, get angry and fat, and lose sleep.

every little thing with a baby is a catalyst for aging.

but I have a 38-year-old stay-at-home mother with a 20-year-old face. She is a mother of three but is often mistaken for her child's sister.

once, we couldn't help asking her: how on earth is it maintained?

she smiled and said to us, "Mom must learn to be lazy. when she is a mother, everyone will be old."

seeing that we were puzzled, she continued to explain:

"despite my manicure, shampoo, shopping and parties, I didn't even have time to put on a moisturizer before."

as soon as I open my eyes every day, there is endless housework and endless mess to clean up, either to hurry up, to yell at that good point, or to scold them for not worrying.

it is no exaggeration to say that my time is filled with three children, even if the dream is that the child got into trouble again and failed in the exam.

at that time, I dared not look in the mirror. I was not energetic, the dark circles under my eyes turned into bags under my eyes, and my white hair grew out.

once I was really sick. When dinner was ready, I went to bed. As a result, the children saw that I was uncomfortable. They not only washed the dishes and chopsticks, but also kept clean. I got up early the next day and made breakfast according to the online tutorial. "

since then, friends often "pretend to be weak" and slack off. As a result, the children grow up very fast, do their own things, take the initiative to undertake housework, and know how to love their mother.

"there used to be three big troubles, but now they are three small helpers. It turns out that when the children become sensible, they will have nothing to do with their mothers."

now that she has enough time to rest, she can step on high heels and be herself.

A mother who is considerate by her children tends to be considerate.He was treated kindly by the years.

the happiness that emanates from the inside out is the cosmetics that my mother will never fade.

therefore, far-sighted mothers never act as "nannies" for their children, but learn to be lazy, return the opportunities for growth to their children, cultivate their independence and sense of responsibility, and let their children spread their wings.

when a mother learns to let go, life doesn't have to turn around like a top and glow naturally.

03

do not spread negative energy, keep a good mood every day

read such a short story.

one day, a little boy suddenly said to his mother, "Mom, you are so beautiful today."

Mother asked, "Why?"

the little boy said, "because you laughed many, many times today."

Life is like a mirror. If you face it with a smile, it will naturally return your smile.

while laughing at the passing years, it is easier to hold the years lightly.

but in reality, many mothers have a bitter face, complain about the trouble at work, complain about the hard work of raising children alone, and nag about the trivialities of life.

it is conceivable that a mother who is shrouded in negative energy, deaf and depressed all day, can't help being old-fashioned.

once, writer Liu Jirong was such a negative mother, until once, she overheard her son complaining to his classmates:

"I don't have a sense of happiness. How can I laugh? life is too hard."

only then did she wake up, complaining and blaming her son every day, which unexpectedly made her son unhappy.

so Liu Jirong began to try to be a sunny and happy mother.

before entering the house every day, you have to rub your face no matter how tired you are. You must first have a warm smile before entering the house.

when washing and cooking, do not groan or complain endlessly.

she said:

Yes, life is all kinds of trivial daily and local feathers, and annoying things emerge one after another.

but the catharsis of negative energy is not only useless, but also adds to frustration, powerlessness and demoralization.

the study of Hong Lan, PhD in Psychology, shows that

Mom is surrounded by negative energy, and the family becomes an emotional dump, and the whole family loses the ability to be happy.

if mom stays in a good mood, life brings its own light, and home has become a magnetic field of happiness.

be a happy mother, learn to appreciate and enjoy the beauty of life, pass on positive energy to your children, and establish a positive and optimistic attitude towards life.

A mother full of positive energy has a naturally ruddy and beautiful face.

04

not being a mother with 100 points, keep a good mindset

as the saying goes, the mother is born from the heart, and most of the time the mother grows old from the heart.

if you have a bad mentality, your appearance is easy to grow old.

in the TV series growing up with you, he woke up to take care of the children and needed to balance his work. As a result, the work was not done well, and his son swallowed the ring and sent him to the hospital by mistake.

when I woke up, I felt that I was really unable to be a mother. I blamed myself for a long time.

and this scene is a true portrayal of how many mothers: they are very demanding of themselves and want to do everything well, resulting in exhaustion.

two days ago, my best friend complained to me that she had a "broken mind".

she said that she would travel with her child during the summer vacation, but she was so busy with her work that she had to cancel her appointment with her child. She felt extremely guilty.

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during the holiday, she was given a fine breakfast made by her child, but she could not even cook a noodle well, and she was extremely melancholy.

the neighbor's child memorized 300 ancient poems and spoke fluent English, but her child found it difficult to speak simple English, and she was extremely anxious.

as a mother and a wife, she is not only busy taking care of her children, but also taking care of family chores and doing her own work. She feels really tired.

Yes, once many women become mothers, they put a yoke on themselves: I have to be a perfect mother.

but the truth is, even if my mother has three heads and six arms, she can't do everything.

relaxing the state of mind and not pursuing perfection in everything is the best state for every mother.

because of her work, Yang Lan often travels on business and seldom spends time with her children.

once, when Yang Lan came home, her son cried bitterly, which made her feel sorry for her child and was not a good mother.

but gradually, Yang Lan found that she lived a wonderful life, which was also a kind of "teaching by example" for her children.

Yang Lan said:

my children have a mother who can't cook, but they also have a mother who knows a lot.

the information I bring to them and take them to travel to various places, including my love and interest in work, can still have a very positive impact on them.

every mother has her own shortcomings, and she doesn't have to ask herself to be perfect in everything. "

Yes, 60 points is enough to be a good mother. A mother with a score of

60 can occasionally make mistakes, lose her temper, be lazy and miss her child's life.

you can also accept that you are not good enough, tolerate your imperfections, accept the fact that you cannot work and balance your children, but still try your best to live a good life and set a good example for your children.

I hope mothers can be less critical of themselves and more tolerant and gentle.

Don't force yourself to be a perfect mother. Learn to love and nourish yourself so that you can shine.

05

Coco Chanel once said:

Mother's life, from the gestation of life to the child to start a family, there are joy, anger, sorrow, joy, sorrow.

We can't decide the ups and downs of life, but we can choose what kind of life we want to live and what kind of ourselves we become.

in the final analysis, the appearance of my mother is repaired by her own wisdom.

when a mother learns to be lazy, to love herself, to dress herself, to refine herself, to enrich the outside, to improve the inside, and to live a wonderful life.