Meticulous injury (classic story)

01

I saw a classic story the other day. I'll share it with you first.

one autumn, a group of swans came to settle on a small island.

they fly in from the far north, ready to go south for the winter.

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A fisherman and his wife live on the island. They are very happy to see this group of beautiful extraterrestrial visitors.

so he took out the feed for the chickens and carefully fed them, and specially went to the lake to fetch small fish for them to eat.

the swans were raised in white and fat, and when winter came, the couple opened the hut and let the swans come in to keep warm, fearing that they would be frozen.

the swan, accustomed to a comfortable environment, has lived in the old couple's house since then and no longer flies south.

the fisherman and his wife took good care of them until they were old and left the island.

after they left, the body of the swan was found on the frozen lake in the cold winter.

A group of swans that traveled north and south for hundreds of millions of years died of the meticulous injury of the fisherman and his wife.

02

this story reminds me of a video I saw before.

in the video, an adult man expressed the hope that the country would enact a law:

"Don't say that a child can be abandoned by the age of 18."

if the child is incompetent, parents should keep raising it. "

I thought my parents had done something wrong to him because he was so eloquent.

however, going on, it makes people angry.

this man is called Kuang Zhengxuan, 29 years old.

at the age when ordinary people get married, he is still alone and does not look for a job. The only thing he does every day is to ask his parents for money.

if his parents didn't give it, he took his parents to court. "my parents are obviously more capable than I am, why can't they support me?"

and his "capable" parents, who rent in a small facade of 200 yuan a month, the whole room is only 15 square meters and doesn't even have a few decent pieces of furniture.

my father, Lao Kuang, is just an ordinary construction worker who earns only 20,000 yuan a year through hard work. His mother is ill in bed and needs a lot of money to treat her illness.

A young and strong man, unsympathetic to his parents' difficulties, lay in bed playing with his cell phone while his father was sweating to make money at the construction site.

how is such a real-life version of a giant baby formed?

Kuang Zhengxuan's mother has always doted on her children. Whenever the father wants his son to do some work, the mother will stop him.

according to neighbors, Kuang Zhengxuan has always held out his clothes and food at home since he was a child, and his parents will find ways to meet any of his needs.

Kuang Zhengxuan, who grew up in this environment, gradually developed the bad habit of loving ease and dislike work, and gradually became self-centered.

when he reached the age of standing, he could not bear the wind and rain alone. When he was supposed to be filial to his parents, he threatened to let his father support himself until he was old.

pity the two old people who spent decades trying their best to love their children, but finally raised their children into such white-eyed wolves.

03

there are always people who say that Chinese parents are so great that they put their children above everything they own.

hold it in your hand for fear of falling, hold it in your mouth for fear of melting, and never be willing to let children suffer a little bitterness and a little tiredness.

as their children get older, parents begin to worry about finding them a good job and a good marriage.

but sadly, those children who are loved by their parents have actually become victims of love.

in the classic short film Giant Baby, mothers take care of their children in every detail.

when the child is hungry and thirsty, he only needs to call his mother, and water and food are immediately fed to his mouth.

when the child wants the latest toy, the mother pays for it without saying a word, but she can't afford it, so she sells her organs.

when she traded her last kidney for a video game for her child, the child who was addicted to the game did not realize that her mother had fallen in a pool of blood.

tired of playing games, when I called my mother again, there was no answer.

A child who is completely unable to take care of himself will eventually have to lie beside his mother and die alone.

Huang Lei once said:

parents' meticulous care will only make their children indulge in gentleness, and their wings will be cut off before they know it.

there is a good saying:

good parents must love moderately and have rules in tolerance.

A good education must be strict and kind, and there must be discipline in freedom.

04

there is a psychological concept called "absorptive mind", which refers to the ability of children to adapt to the environment and form personality through unconscious memory.

the root of personality formation is in the original family.

if the child is born with a blank sheet of paper, the parent is the writer.

what can parents do to love their children best?

1. If you make rules, you will not be an adult without rules.

educator Ding Lin once shared one of her experiences.

A friend took her daughter, who was in the third grade of primary school, to her house as a guest.

my daughter liked Ding Lin's little candy so much that she ate two in a row. When she wanted to reach for the third one, she looked up and asked her mother if she could.

Mother shook her head at her and made it clear that she could not.

the daughter also obeyed her mother's advice cleverly.

Ding Lin was surprised at the obedience of the child, but the friend said that it was because she had made an agreement with the child in advance that the amount of candy should not exceed.Two.

Bill Gates once said: "as a parent, one of the most important duties is to bind children with rules as they grow up."

without rules, there is no square.

Children who know how to abide by the rules are seldom self-willed and overbearing, because when they make mistakes, parents will use a gentle and firm attitude to let their children know what can and can't.

it is precisely because parents are forced to accept all kinds of rules that children can correct their behavior and gain a better foothold in society in the future.

2. Willing to let go and teach children to be independent.

Camden, a little boy, suffers from congenital seal limb disease and has no limbs at birth.

someone else might have held the poor child in the palm of his hand.

but Camden's parents believe that their children have the ability and the right to do what they can.

at the request of his parents'"ruthlessness", Camden learned to eat alone, paint, throw football, and even learn to play the piano.

his parents will also take him to a motivational speech, telling him that even a physically disabled person can have an independent and complete personality.

fate gave Camden a storm from the very beginning, but with firm love and encouragement, parents taught their child to be independent and gave him the greatest strength.

3. Learn to be cruel and let children experience life.

14-year-old boy Wang Longze has been selling vegetables in the vegetable market with his parents since he was 5 years old.

while other children traveled around with their parents, he stayed at the vegetable stall in silence.

A reporter asked him: "other students are out to play, do you envy them?"

Wang Longze said calmly: "without saying envy, everyone was born in a different family, will have a different life, and must have different views on one thing."

he also said that he hopes that when he grows up, he can be admitted to a good university and find a good job, so that his parents will not work so hard.

the sensibility of children is inseparable from the good intentions of their parents.

the mother said that the reason why she took her child to sell vegetables was to let him see the hardship of life while helping his parents.

when he is adept at helping people pick vegetables and bag them, he knows that he will be too tired to straighten up in the process.

parents love their children is natural, but it should also be a far-reaching concern.

as the French educator Rousseau said:

teach children to obey rules and let them understand the meaning of freedom in restraint;

teach children to endure hardships and learn the courage to face life from setbacks.

be kind and not spoiled. Don't let your meticulous care hurt your child without knowing it.