Jia Ling was "urged to marry" by fans, and Gao EQ replied, "how happy is the life of a person who can talk?"

if you want to say that the one who has occupied the forefront of the social topic recently, it must be the "new director" Jia Ling.

during the Spring Festival, the film "Hello, Li Huanying" directed by Jia Ling moved tens of millions of fans. Word-of-mouth box office has gone up all the way, and it has become the top three in Chinese film history.

while rectifying the name of Chinese domestic films, Jia Ling herself is also a very dedicated, humorous and EQ person.

Jia Ling's popularity, some people concluded that: men do not hate her, women do not envy her.

A few days ago, Jia Ling and the film creators went to Chengdu cinema for a road show, but they were "urged to get married" by fans at the scene.

A Chengdu mother stood up and said:

in the face of some awkward questions, Jia Ling did not look embarrassed, let alone angry, but tactfully replied:

one sentence aroused a lot of laughter, which not only defused the irrationality of fans, but also rescued themselves, and everyone praised Jia Ling's high EQ.

some netizens said:

if you really say so, it is inevitable that everyone will not be able to come down from the stage, showing off the pleasure of the moment, but losing the popularity of the audience.

this is not the first time. Jia Ling has made a hot search with her "textbook-level" speech art.

she is always able to observe her words, resolve conflicts in the right way, and easily help herself and the people around her.

Ben Jonson once said, "language can best expose a person. As long as you speak, I can understand you."

A talker knows what to say and what not to say to different people at different times and occasions.

this is not only a kind of high EQ, but also a reflection of one's self-cultivation.

01

in public places, do not embarrass people

Mr. Zhu Ziqing once said:

smart people, do not see through the point, but also point three points, especially in front of the public, to save face for others.

in the entertainment industry, Huang Bo is famous for his high EQ.

in the variety show extreme Challenge, people try to transport more ice cubes.

in order not to let the ice melt in transit, Huang Bo wrapped it with a quilt. At this time, a teammate said with a puzzled look on his face:

if Huang Bo really broke up with him and said, "you don't understand this common sense."... " It will inevitably embarrass your teammates in front of everyone.

so Huang Bo just smiled and said, "it seems that we grew up in different environments."

this sentence not only skillfully explains the differences in the knowledge structure of the two people, resolves the principal contradiction, and most importantly, protects the face of their teammates.

Huang Bo once directed a movie "A good Show". At that time, he invited good friends Sun Honglei and Xu Zheng to play, but their roles were deleted.

in a variety show, he asked him in public: "can I ask what this principle is?"

as a result, Huang Bo's answer was unexpected:

one sentence made everyone laugh, praised his friends in passing fancy style, and had to admire Huang Bo's art of speaking.

as the saying goes: hit people but not in the face, expose people do not expose weaknesses.

the so-called high EQ means that you know how to take others to heart and don't use your tongue to elevate yourself and hurt others.

in public places, know how to save face for each other, but also leave room for yourself, so as to win the respect and trust of more people.

02

do not know the full picture, do not casually evaluate others

there is a saying: "I do not know the whole picture, do not comment."

means that when you don't know someone, or even the whole story, don't comment casually and define others.

sometimes, maybe an unintentional sentence will cause indelible psychological harm to others.

the movie search tells such a sad story.

when Ye Lanqiu, an urban white-collar worker, learned that she had cancer, she was immersed in amazement and fear and got on the bus in a trance.

because he didn't give up his seat to an old man, he was scolded by everyone: "people like you shouldn't come and take the bus!"

this scene was filmed and posted online by an intern reporter. Ye Lanqiu was "cyber manhunt" and became the object of a city-wide crusade.

Ye Lanqiu asked her boss for leave to borrow money, and she burst into tears when she was caught by the landlady and insisted that she was the other woman.

things are getting worse and worse, and there is a flood of abuse, attacks and accusations, and some people even ask Ye Lanqiu to die.

at the end of the film, Ye Lanqiu chose to commit suicide. There was a film review that made me feel for a long time:

"Nobody knows the truth, but no one cares about the truth.

every word is a knife at Ye Lanqiu, and everyone is behind this tragedy. "

as the ancients said, "the mouth is an axe, and words are tongue cutters." Knife sores are easy to cure, but evil words are hard to go away. "

when you don't know the truth, don't listen to the wind is rain, judge others casually, or even hurt others.

it is a person's greatest kindness to keep his mouth shut and not to judge others easily.

03

ask for help and learn to think of others

sometimes we need to speak with a certain degree of utilitarianism in order to achieve a certain purpose.

but the more this time, the more you have to consider each other's needs and think in each other's position, so that you can get twice the result with half the effort.

in the Western Han Dynasty, there was a minister named Dongfangshuo, who was resourceful and quick-spoken.

but at first Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty did not use him, but gave him a small official named Simamen Daizhao.

the same level as those runaway midgets, the salary is very low, a bag of rice and three jin of meat, 240 big money.

these Dongfang Shuos did not have enough to eat at all, but they did not have the identity to meet the emperor directly, so they came up with a brilliant plan for "promotion and salary increase".

he said to the dwarfs, "the emperor wants to kill you, and now there is only one way to stop the royal car in the street."

when the dwarfs listened to Dongfangshuo's words, they really went to stop the car and shouted for grievances, and Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was furious and called Dongfang Shuo to question.

Dongfang Shuo cried:

"it's not fair that these dwarfs are no more than three feet long, but I am more than nine feet tall and have as much food as them."

if the emperor thinks I'm useful to the country, it's my pleasure. If you think I can't, it's because I'm not lucky, and I can have enough to eat even when I go home to farm. "

Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty laughed and immediately brought Dongfangshuo to him, and it was only natural that he was promoted and got a raise.

Dongfang Shuo did not directly say that I did not have enough to eat, but put myself in a position useful to the country, transforming my own needs into the needs of the country.

thus it can be seen that when dealing with people, we must learn to think in each other's position.

"if you want to take it, you must give it first", which is not only a strategy and strategy to get things done, but also a kind of advanced EQ to deal with the world.

04

there are conflicts and don't say hurtful words

in life, it is our families who deal with us the most.

however, it is our families who do the most harm by verbal violence.

A friend told me a very sad story.

her parents divorced when she was very young, because her father didn't like girls and left her with her mother.

for as long as I can remember, my mother has taken care of her alone. In order to take good care of her growing up, her mother has not considered remarrying.

my mother was a little impatient and strict with her. Later, she reached a rebellious period of youth.

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in a quarrel, she felt that she had to resist and she must defeat her mother, so she shouted:

Why is this so sad? Because she had already forgotten about it.