If you talk too much, you will lose. Three words that a wise man does not say.

speaking is not only an art, but also a discipline.

but being able to talk doesn't mean talking more.

"Gui Guzi" said, "if you talk too much, you must have a short number."

if you say too much, you will hurt others and yourself.

if you talk too much, you lose, and wise people don't say these three words.

01

unpleasant complaints

as the saying goes, "nine times out of ten things go wrong in life."

everyone has bad times, but everyone chooses different ways to deal with it.

some people calmly accept dissatisfaction and actively solve problems.

some people keep complaining and making excuses for themselves.

I have read such a story:

an old cook accepted two apprentices. The big apprentice is industrious and capable, while the second apprentice is relatively lazy.

in order to train the second apprentice, after the old cook finishes his work, he will let the second apprentice stay and clean up and teach him how to cook.

but the second apprentice was very unhappy, and although the old cook watched, he kept complaining that the old cook deliberately embarrassed him.

after a few times, the old cook asked the big apprentice to clean up.

after each cleaning up, the big apprentice will ask the old cook about the problems he encountered that day.

when the second apprentice saw that his brother's cooking skill was getting better and better, he complained to the old cook that the old cook opened a small stove for the big apprentice.

seeing that the second apprentice is so unenterprising, the old cook left a lot of important things to the big apprentice.

two years later, the big apprentice was so good at cooking that he was favored by the famous restaurant owner in the city, while the second apprentice was running errands in a small restaurant.

people who like to complain, when they are unhappy, they don't find reasons for themselves, but complain about others.

they try to blame others for their unhappiness.

in life, no one wants to cooperate with such people.

when you are unhappy, you can complain occasionally, but you can't complain all day long.

complaining with people not only does not solve the problem, but also gives people the impression of being unreliable.

as the saying goes:

Don't complain with others, and solve problems when you encounter problems.

it is better to change your fate than to complain about your fate; to complain about your life is better than to change your life.

02

tantrum

people often say, "when people are angry, their IQ is zero."

I think so.

when people are angry, they can't help saying some extreme and cruel words and hurting the people around them.

Sister Liu, a colleague, used to speak bluntly, but recently she has changed.

asked her the reason for the change, she shared such a thing:

once, when Sister Liu came home from work, she saw the house in a mess.

the husband is lying on the sofa smoking a cigarette and watching TV, while the son's football shoes and socks are littered in the living room.

Sister Liu, who had worked hard all day, immediately lost her temper and scolded her husband and son.

she called her husband a loser and stayed at home all day and didn't know how to clean up the house.

then she scolded her son for being ignorant all day long and playing all day even in his senior year.

hearing Sister Liu's cruel words, the husband was not convinced, and the two men quarreled, and the angry husband slammed the door and left.

my son also feels aggrieved and just wants to stay away from her.

Sister Liu said that only afterwards did she know that her husband did not have a smooth job interview that day and was very sad. His words hurt his self-esteem and hurt their feelings between husband and wife.

my son is also afraid to approach himself because of his own words.

at that time, I was angry. I wanted to resolve the contradiction, but because of my cruel words, I deeply hurt the one I loved and deepened the contradiction.

there is a saying:

the speaker is unintentional, the listener is intentional.

those cruel words will hurt the people around them.

when people are angry, they will inevitably have dissatisfaction.

but extreme language can not ease emotions and aggravate conflicts.

emotion is a fragile thing. If you cut a knife and leave a scar, if you scratch too much, it will become riddled with holes.

when angry, say less cruel words, and then communicate after the emotion is over, so that the contradiction can be resolved more effectively.

03

excessive jokes

when people get along with others, there are occasions where jokes are made in a relaxed atmosphere.

A moderate joke can win the favor of others, while an excessive joke will hurt people's self-esteem and feelings.

Zizhi Tongjian records such a story:

at a dinner, Kou Chun's beard accidentally touched the soup, and the kind Ding said to stand up and help him clean it.

Kou Chun said jokingly, "as a minister, do you wipe the beard for the leader?"

this makes the scene very embarrassing and hurts Ding's self-esteem.

since then, Ding said that he began to hold a grudge against Kou Chun.

he also joined Kou Zhi's colleagues who had been hurt by Kou Zhi's mouth to frame him.

Kou Chun's mouth was so outspoken that the emperor thought he could not speak.

finally, Kou Chun's career as an official came to an end, and he was exiled again and again until he died in Leizhou.

telling jokes reflects a person's sense of humor, while excessive jokes do not benefit themselves at the expense of others.

in life, there are often some people who think they are humorous and tell jokes with other people's weaknesses and privacy.

use other people's height to joke, take advantage of other people's unbearable experiences to joke.

those jokes seem to be light.It actually hurts a lot.

No one is willing to associate with people who can't talk like that.

Confucius said, "do not do to others what you do not want to do to others."

people who really have high EQ will take care of other people's feelings and emotions when they tell jokes.

that kind of joke can really relax the atmosphere and win the favor of others.

Daojing says, "it is better to keep the middle than to speak too much and count the poor."

when you can't speak, you can talk less; when you don't know how to joke, you can not joke.

otherwise, it will be self-defeating and bring more discomfort.

as the saying goes, you can eat at random, but you can't talk nonsense.

if you eat too much, you will hurt yourself at most; if you talk too much, you will hurt others.

Huang Zhizhong once said:

telling unpleasant complaints to people will bring trouble to people;

saying cruel words about losing temper will bring harm to people;

jokes that go too far with people will bring discomfort to people.

A good word warms you in three winters, but a bad word hurts you in June.

language not only reflects a person's wisdom, but also reflects a person's self-cultivation.

truly smart people seldom say these three words.

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