Don't owe any favors.

there is a couplet in A Dream of Red Mansions: "the world is enlightened and learned, and human experience is an article."

since ancient times, the word "human feelings" has played an important role in our lives.

it is difficult for people who do not understand the ways of the world to gain a foothold in this society.

but as I get older, after everything is difficult, I gradually find that

in this complicated relationship, it often affects the whole body, and in the end, it hurts others and yourself.

when people are alive, people are hard to understand, but human feelings are hard to resist.

Don't owe anyone anything.

01

there are too many advantages, and disasters follow you

when many people encounter problems in life, they are not thinking about how to solve them, but who to ask for help.

you know, there is never a free lunch in the world, and those so-called contacts, the advantages you take advantage of, may cost you more in the future.

my friend Hongmei has encountered a very depressing thing these days.

when she and her husband were going to decorate the house, although there was a lot of financial pressure, they still had to put it together.

but Hongmei husband insists on asking relatives for help, thinking that everyone is relatives and friends and can save some money.

I didn't expect that the project that could be completed in four months would be delayed day by day, and the couple dared not rush it, but it took seven months to roughly complete it.

not only that, not long after moving in, Hongmei found that the water pipe in the bathroom was leaking all day, and there were signs of cracks in the kitchen wall, so she had to find someone else to rectify it.

originally, I asked for help to save money and trouble, but what happened? Abuse of human feelings appears to take advantage, but in fact it suffers a great loss.

not to mention spending too much money, you have to treat your relatives to dinner every time you see them.

there is a saying in life: if a small bargain takes too much, it will bury the thunder that suffers great losses.

heard such a story a few years ago.

Dawei is a famous designer in moments. He also takes on some part-time jobs after work.

once a friend came to him, hoping that Dawei could design a project. After Dawei took over, he stayed up for half a month to hand in the drawings as required.

but after waiting for a few days, the friend remained silent for a long time. Dawei couldn't help finding him and asked politely about the blueprints.

did not expect the other party to tell him that Party B was very satisfied with his design, and then talked about the friendship between the two, and said that now Dawei made so much money, but did not mention the matter of remuneration.

later, it is said that Dawei blacklisted the other party's contact information, applied for a patent using his own manuscript, and then complained about project infringement.

the project has not only been terminated, but friends have compensated Party B for a large sum of money, so it is useless to intercede with Dawei.

there is a line in "fatal connections":

all acts of taking advantage of human feelings are wasting other people's trust in you.

seems to have made a profit, but in fact, it has lost its most precious contacts and future.

the relationship between people is mutual, no one is stupid.

those who like to take advantage of their friends have to pay the price for their selfishness.

02

True feelings are rare and human feelings are difficult

in interpersonal communication, many people have the illusion that they should help themselves if they feel that they have a good relationship with each other.

but in this world, in addition to parents who are obligated to be nice to you, others always take something back from you.

I have an old classmate. When I started my business a few years ago, I didn't have the capital to start it, and I thought the interest on bank loans was too high.

make up an abacus and ask the people around you to gather a little in the east and borrow a little in the west.

people feel that the number is small and they don't charge much interest, and his heart is also happy.

and with this money and his own cleverness, the old classmate soon occupied a place in the market.

over the past few years, the business has become bigger and bigger, the "x total x" people have been called, and more and more people have come to him for help.

irrelevant people naturally have nothing to do, so just refuse, but for relatives and friends who have borrowed money, they naturally have to help this and that as well.

he has the ability to try his best to satisfy it, but he is powerless for some extra requests.

after several times, relatives secretly said that he was ungrateful, and the family had more and more opinions about him.

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his parents couldn't hold their heads up in front of everyone, and even his wife began to complain about him.

in the end, he owes a favor, hurts his feelings, and loses his reputation that he is not a person inside and outside.

in Chinese society, human contact is a very troublesome thing.

it's easy to owe money. There is always a time when there is even, and you don't feel guilty.

but the money has been paid off, how to calculate the favor?

it is illusory and has no standard to measure, but it weighs heavily on people's hearts.

even if it is a small favor from others, you must return it, otherwise it will give people the impression that your character is not good enough.

but if you give too much, you don't think it's worth it, and if you give less, others will think you're ungrateful.

Human feelings seem to be free, but they are actually a burden that cannot be freed from the relationship.

03

Human feelings are very expensive, please be careful to consume

in life, we can't avoid interacting with people, and no one can live as an island.

in the hit drama "just Thirty" last year, Gu Jia's immortal friendship was enviable.

Gu Jia needs a high-end bag in order to get into the upper-class wife circle. Under the introduction of Zhong Xiaoqin, Gu Jia met Wang Manni.

and although Wang Manni is responsibleZhong Xiaoqin was grateful, but he also tried his best to help Gu Jia find the bag he wanted.

finally, I made numerous phone calls, contacted my former colleagues and said nice things, and finally got it for Gu Jia.

Gu Jia is also well aware of Wang Manni's contribution, so she also bought some other things to help Wang's colleagues increase their performance and not make it difficult for her to do.

two people come and go and give equally, so they begin to become sisters who talk about everything.

there is a good saying: "Don't be afraid to owe others a favor, as long as you know how to return it."

Don't overdraw and consume other people's kindness to you, and don't let down those who are kind to you. Be grateful and repay it as soon as you can.

when my cousin was in business in the early years, his time was busy and he had no energy, and he always helped with some things.

but my uncle didn't understand anything about accounting, so he wanted to find an acquaintance from an accountant background to help with the bookkeeping.

unexpectedly, my cousin disagreed, so he went directly to an agency.

the other party's professional business standards, cooperation for several months, found a lot of account loopholes, to my cousin to save a lot of trouble, uncle saw it is not easy to say.

later, my cousin explained:

when you are not strong enough, you can only owe favors, which is the reality.

but more often, if you can solve the problem with money, don't bother with the relationship.

because in the end, you will find that saving time and energy to maintain a relationship will give you more.

in fact, everyone can't avoid being sophisticated and reciprocating.

but in any case, always rely on yourself, spend money or contribute, and don't always think about relying on others.

there is no such thing as giving for no reason. Success achieved by relying on the strength of others is doomed to be short-lived.

only by keeping your feet on the ground can you go through the ups and downs of the world and listen to yourself.

step by step in the thorny road to become mature and strong, in order to live to be what you really want to be.