Calm down (depth good text)

there is a question on Zhihu: "what is the highest state of life?"

A high praise replied:

it is true. The really strong are as calm as water.

even in the face of strong winds and waves, there is also a calm and calm, every mountain can open the road, water can build a bridge.

even if you encounter great ups and downs, you can still: there is thunder in the chest and the face is like Pinghu, Mount Tai collapses in front and the color remains the same.

it took half a lifetime to understand that calmness is a person's top charm.

01

aware of people's deceit, not angry at words

read a story:

an old professor took his students to buy fish and specially chose a fish with less spines.

the fishmonger immediately said, "the fish you picked is not delicious. I'll recommend one to you."

No sooner had the fishmonger finished talking than the fishmonger was ready to take a more expensive fish.

the old professor replied with a smile, "No, I like this one."

upon hearing the rejection, the fishmonger said angrily, "Don't think that you know a few big words in culture. After reading a few books, you will know what kind of fish is good."

hearing this, the professor's students couldn't stand it. They rushed up and quarreled with the fishmonger. The professor immediately stopped the student, then took him and left.

the students were puzzled: "teacher, that man was obviously being careful and complained to us, so why didn't he reason with him clearly?"

the professor explained:

as the saying goes, it is better to have a fight with a gentleman than to talk to a villain.

Why not argue with insidious and cunning people about their rights and wrongs?

because he will make you lose your mind in anger, then pull your IQ to the same level as him, and then beat you with a wealth of experience.

when I was browsing Weibo some time ago, I saw a person comment under a certain news:

this comment has hundreds of responses, all refuting the so-called "victim guilt theory." that person also kept responding to everyone's rebuttal, his attitude is getting worse and worse.

when there was nothing to do at that time, he joined the dispute. Unexpectedly, the "debate" at the beginning turned into an inexplicable struggle.

because I participated in this "war of words" all day and didn't put down my phone until 3: 00 or 4: 00 in the morning, I was in a very bad state of mind the next day.

and that man attracted countless onlookers, rising thousands of fans overnight.

Psychology mentions a law, which is called "villain's law".

means never argue with the villain, because the end result is consuming yourself.

when you get along with villains, you should avoid fighting most. Instead of chattering endlessly, it is better to stay away in silence.

what a person needs most in his life is the wisdom of "always competing with the same people, and not discussing the short and long with fools".

02

being insulted by others, there is a sentence written in

Silent majority

"one of the main reasons why I choose to be silent:

you seldom learn human nature from words, but you can from silence. If you want to learn more, you must remain silent. "

there are moments in your life when you are misunderstood and ridiculed, and the louder you explain, the louder other people laugh.

it turns out later that the best counterattack is silence.

there is a helpless story in the Outlaws of the Marsh. After being driven out of the palace, Yang Zhi was penniless and had no choice but to sell his ancestral knife for money. He never thought that he had encountered a bully when selling Dao.

after seeing Yang Zhi's knife, Niu er tried his best to provoke and ridicule Yang Zhi.

in the end, Yang Zhi couldn't stand it and ended Niu er's life with one knife. then he turned himself in to the government and was assigned to Daming.

it's not worth it to ruin your original life on impulse.

those who can endure the struggle of anger, and do not get angry for no reason, have a lot of gullies in their chest.

this is precisely the sign of a person's maturity.

keep your emotions in your own hands, and everything will be calm before you can go smoothly.

I admire actor Xu Zheng's attitude towards life. In his early days, he was referred to as "Zhu Bajie" wherever he went for playing the role of "Zhu Bajie".

Grab yourself a piece of cute sixteen outfits and accentuate your ensemble to bring out your elegance. Shop now at prices that will make your head spin.

at first he felt red in the face, but over time, his state of mind slowly changed.

when he heard someone call him that again, he didn't care.

he said:

not moving in color is calm in the bottom of my heart, and daring to accept is in my own growth.

if you can bear the anger of the moment, one day you will be able to bloom new flowers in the silent years.

03

observing people's mistakes is not good for him

there is an old saying:

think about it carefully, this is the top self-cultivation in dealing with the world, and it is also the practice of being indifferent to the things of the world.

I wonder if you have ever seen such a picture:

from the first perspective, you will feel that the person in front is stabbing the person behind with a knife.

but the real situation is quite the opposite. in fact, the people in the back are killing the people in front with knives.

what we see most of the time is just the tip of the iceberg.

in real life, there are always some people who hear a little "wind blowing grass" and can't wait to spread the news to others.

when you don't know the whole picture, you ruin the whole of others with one mouth.

the classmate who has been a loner has no choice but to refuse everyone's invitation because his family is poor and has no money to go out for fun.

but someone spread it to him after learning about his family situation by accident.He was talked about by others, which hurt his self-esteem.

the colleague who has always been optimistic has actually experienced changes at home, but she is unwilling to pass on the negative energy to others, so she bears it silently.

but after someone accidentally learned about her family affairs, it spread ten times, causing everyone to question her "it's all like this at home, and she laughs every day."

wanton evaluating other people's lives and pushing them into the abyss with one sentence is the most terrible part of human nature.

is like the sad story in the Beautiful Legend of Sicily.

Malena was envied by other women because she was too beautiful, and it was gradually rumored that she was seducing a married man, so the women rushed to beat her, tear her clothes and cut her long hair.

but on weekdays, she doesn't have much in common with the people in the town.

most people only believe in rumors and regard her beauty as an unforgivable sin, and malice is everywhere.

there is a profound saying:

from another point of view, it can also be said: floating on the surface is the wind, sinking the heart comes from the truth.

A little more calm, a little more thinking, maybe the result of a thing is completely different, a person's ending will be better.

No false judgment is the most valuable kindness in human nature.

writer Tao Shangyun once wrote:

if you are calm and at ease, you will not fall so easily.

calm down and don't panic when something happens, it's easier to deal with all the difficulties in the world.

if you are calm and have a pattern in life, you can safely walk through life.