After half a lifetime, I realized that these seven principles of life are all true!
having heard such a sentence, I have quite a feeling:
"Life is like dumplings, whether it is dragged into the water, thrown into the water, or jump into the water by yourself, without being burned by life for a while, it is not mature."
A lot of things are not understood when you are young, but you are no longer young when you know them.
after half a lifetime of ups and downs, you can understand what is the most important thing in life.
the truths that we once disapproved of contain the truest meaning of a happy life.
01
about being a human being:
the so-called high EQ is to make yourself comfortable
someone once asked Cai Kangyong, "what is the ultimate goal of training EQ?"
his answer is simple: "be comfortable to be yourself."
as I get older, I can more and more understand the profound meaning of this sentence.
for a long time, I was obsessed with interpersonal relationships and always wanted to make a good impression on others.
therefore, they often overcapture other people's feelings and try their best to meet other people's needs and preferences.
but doing so does not get a good popularity, but becomes the most easily ignored one.
the consequence of blindly pleasing others is to make yourself physically and mentally exhausted.
it took me half a lifetime to realize that, in fact, a person's highest EQ is to make himself comfortable.
Inzkohut, an American psychologist, once put forward a word: resolute without hostility.
the simple understanding is that a line should be drawn in interpersonal communication.
We do not respond angrily to the offense of others, and we do not cater to the expectations of others in a wronged way.
when you stop distorting yourself and stop living in other people's eyes and mouths, you will live more freely.
when you stick to yourself in a more mature and peaceful manner, you will be truly respected by others.
this is the high EQ, which brings us the greatest significance.
02
the entanglement and pain of life often lead us into a dead end and don't know what to do.
but when you open a book, you will find that all your emotions seem to be listened to and understood.
it will tell you that the world is much wider than you think, and the immediate setbacks are just a drop in the ocean.
the more you read, the more you understand that everything in the world has its own rules, and the attitude towards many things is peaceful and sensible.
the journey of life, met a lot of people, but also separated a lot of people.
eventually we will all understand that people are lonely all their lives.
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only books can enrich your spiritual world and accompany you through the long years.
you find yourself in the book, shape yourself, and become the best you expect.
when you taste all the taste in the book, you can not be disturbed by other things and enjoy the leisure of life.
03
about the marriage crisis:
Don't take marriage too seriously, the crisis is not a thing.
some people say that the current situation of middle-aged couples is that they can't think about it and can't leave it.
but in fact, marriage is a kind of interpersonal relationship, and marriage crisis is destined to occur because no one can be "perfect" forever.
We expose our shortcomings and want to control each other, change each other, or even bind each other.
in the final analysis, it's all because marriage is taken too seriously.
psychologist Zeng Qifeng once said an interesting analogy:
"if you assume that marriage is a fart, marriage will not be a fart;
if you use the posture of breast milk nourishment from marriage, what you get must be a fart."
the words are not rough. Life is supposed to be broad, not just marriage.
when you learn to focus on yourself, such as partying with friends, traveling, reading and writing, and trying to improve yourself.
instead of using eight times scope to observe your partner, when you think about marriage, you will find that the marital crisis is not as terrible as you think.
if you understand it, everything will be all right.
04
about age anxiety:
what you are afraid of is not getting old, but getting old and accomplishing nothing
A few days ago, you chatted with an old friend.
she has recently been transferred to a new department, and she needs to learn a lot of business from scratch. She is as busy as a war every day.
when I get home at night, I still have to accompany my children to do their homework, clean up the house and wash until late at night.